Motivating without persuading: 8 conversation techniques that elicit change talk

 

Motivation fluctuates—and that’s normal. But how do you keep employees and teams motivated throughout ongoing change processes? Motivational interviewing is about using conversation techniques to help the coachee move closer to the desired shift. That does not mean you are literally motivating the coachee. When you do that, you fall into the trap of persuading instead of transforming.

So how do you truly ignite motivation? Discover how to transform sustain talk into change talk in this article:

• What is motivational interviewing?
• The 4 phases of motivational interviewing
• The pitfall of motivational conversation techniques
• 8 motivational conversation techniques & exercises
• Sample questions for motivational interviewing

What is motivational interviewing?

Motivational interviewing is a method used to elicit behavior change by strengthening the coachee’s motivation. The art of motivational interviewing lies in not persuading. Instead, you help map out motivation and underlying drivers. You ask questions that lead to new insights, allowing the coachee to choose change on their own initiative. As a coach, you know that true transformation comes from within.

The 4 phases of motivational interviewing

Motivational interviewing starts right at the beginning of the coaching journey. From the outset, you aim to build rapport with all involved stakeholders, so you gain a clear understanding of shared goals and priorities. You then determine the focus of the coaching trajectory and formalize this in a professional coaching agreement.

In addition, you also explore the goal and motivation in every individual or team coaching session. During a session, you can continue to go deeper into the insights that emerge throughout the trajectory.

1) Mapping the desired shift

Before starting a coaching trajectory, it is important to clearly map the desired shift. We use different approaches for this:

• From the desired shift: What would you like to achieve? Where do you want to go?
• From the problem: What are you struggling with? What do you want to move away from? And what do you want instead?
• Priorities: How important is this to you? What is the most important thing for you to address? On a scale of 1–10?
• Your own perspective: In which context do you want to work on this? How would this be different for you?
• Other perspectives: What would others wish for you?
• Success criteria: When will you know you have achieved your goal?
• Building rapport: What do you need from me to get started with this?

In team coaching, it is essential to create buy-in from all stakeholders. Is everyone aligned? Is everything truly on the table, or are there still things left unspoken?

2) Exploring motivation

Once the desired shift is clear, you go deeper into the underlying drivers behind that shift. You help visualize the change and explore the possible positive and negative consequences of achieving—or not achieving—the desired shift.

• Clarifying context: What will be different once you have achieved your goal? How is this different for you? What does this mean for your environment?
• Upchunking: What benefits does this shift bring you? What could it bring others? In what way is this better for you?
• Risks: If you don’t manage to achieve your goal, what do you risk? What are the consequences for you? If everything stays as it is now, what does that mean for you?
• Assessing readiness: What advantages does it have for you if the situation remains the same?

Again, it is crucial to ask questions from a place of openness and curiosity. You are not trying to motivate or persuade the coachee, but to understand them better. By actively listening, you quickly pick up on the coachee’s underlying values and beliefs. At the same time, the coachee gains more clarity and insight into the “why” behind the desired shift. From this position, real breakthroughs can emerge.

3) Eliciting change talk

Coaching is often the missing link between knowing what to do and actually doing it. In some cases, resistance arises toward the desired shift, rooted in negative thoughts, mindsets, and limiting beliefs. These beliefs are often unconsciously learned or adopted from the (work) environment.

The coachee’s self-worth may be based on conditional beliefs, such as: “I am only a good employee if I…”

• Possibility: Limiting beliefs about whether the desired shift is achievable.
• Ability: Limiting beliefs about one’s own capabilities to realize the desired shift.
• Worthiness: Limiting beliefs about deserving change or success.

Coachees often cling to the old situation out of fear of unpredictability or potential consequences of the desired shift. Once you can identify these limiting beliefs, you can help transform them into change talk. For example: “I am a valuable and capable employee who learns and grows from every experience.” In this way, you support the coachee in developing empowering beliefs and the self-confidence needed to act on their insights.

4) (Re)contracting

Does something new emerge during the conversation? Does the coachee want to move in a different direction? Or has a new challenge become visible during the coaching trajectory? In that case, it may be useful to schedule an interim alignment conversation with all relevant stakeholders.

Working with clear goals is important—but goals continuously evolve. As new values and beliefs develop, goals may change as well. As coaches, our role is to keep exploring and going deeper. This requires practice and experience to ask questions that lead to the essence. Be willing to question yourself throughout the coaching process.

The pitfall of motivational conversation techniques

The main pitfall of motivational conversation techniques is trying too hard to motivate. Motivation fluctuates—and that is normal. Transformation processes naturally come with ups and downs. What you can do, however, is reignite motivation. Depending on the context the coachee is in, you will use different motivational conversation techniques to do so.

8 motivational conversation techniques & exercises

Motivational conversation techniques are, in essence, conversation techniques you use to reignite the coachee’s motivation. Contrary to what many believe, they are not about persuading, but about exploring.

Together with your coachee(s), explore what truly drives them:

• Active listening & observing: Listen beyond what is being said. What patterns or parallel processes do you notice? What do you observe in the client, yourself, and the interaction?
• Summarizing & mirroring: Reflect the coachee’s words to surface certain behaviors or inconsistencies. This contributes to the coachee’s awareness.
• Asking follow-up questions: Keep asking until you reach the essence. Help the coachee create a concrete picture of the desired shift.
• Emotional reflection: Dare to follow your intuition and introduce it as a hypothesis in the conversation. Do you feel something coming up within yourself? Or do you notice something in the coachee? Share this respectfully.
• Pushing towards and away from: Once the desired shift is clear, you can move back and forth between the goal. What are the benefits or downsides? What is there to gain or lose? See motivation as a swing that can be set in motion in different ways.
• Reframing: Help the coachee reframe thoughts and beliefs.
• Magnifying or minimizing: Make the desired shift bigger or smaller. If time were not an issue, what would your ideal situation look like? What is the absolute worst-case scenario? Or what is the smallest win you can already achieve today?
• Concretizing: Clarify the coachee’s self-insight by probing generalized beliefs. Where does this belief come from? Dare to question it.

Sample questions for motivational interviewing

Motivational conversation techniques are not a means of persuasion. They are coaching questions that help clarify and map out the coachee’s motivation.

• What would you like to achieve?
• What would you like to move away from? What would you like to see differently?
• What do you no longer want in your life? And what do you want instead?
• What does success look like for you?
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is this to you?
• What benefits does this bring you?
• What is the effect of this on others?
• What are the consequences for you if the situation stays the same? And for your environment?
• What benefits does the current situation bring you?
• How will you know when you have achieved success?
• How does it feel for you when you reach your goal? And how does it feel if you don’t?
• …

In short, motivational interviewing is more than applying a few techniques or using a set of questions. It also requires a professional coaching attitude and sufficient experience to dare to look further and go deeper. Ask questions from genuine curiosity to clarify and strengthen the coachee’s desired shift.

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