The key to successful feedback conversations: 20+ questions for an open feedback culture (Part 1)

 

Feedback is a cornerstone of understanding, development, and improvement within organizations. Yet we see most leaders and teams struggle with giving and receiving feedback effectively. What are the most common mistakes when giving feedback? Which feedback questions lead to a good conversation? What is the difference between constructive and appreciative feedback? And why is an open feedback culture essential for employee motivation, development, and retention?

In part 1 of this two-part blog series, we focus on the power of feedback in organizations. Discover in this article:

• Why strive for an open feedback culture?
• The difference between feedback and criticism
• Giving feedback with empathy: the DESC model
• From monologue to dialogue: 20+ questions during a feedback conversation

Why strive for an open feedback culture?

Feedback starts from the intention to make someone else more aware, so they can grow. It helps people become aware of their own strengths and pitfalls. In an open feedback culture, people can:

• Leverage their strengths even more effectively
• Experiment with alternative actions and behaviors
• Develop new skills
• Improve team dynamics
• …

A good feedback conversation starts from genuine care for people’s development. You look for a balance between appreciative and constructive feedback and invite others to work together toward a better outcome.

In general, there are three levels at which you can give feedback:

1. Content or task-focused – By far the most common form of feedback. Here, you give targeted constructive feedback, as well as appreciative feedback, about a task.
2. Behavior and impact – Describe concrete examples of (often unconscious) behavior and its impact on results and team dynamics.
3. Attitude – Mindset and attitude often make the real difference. Turn this into a dialogue. Listen and explore possible underlying causes together, such as unmet needs of the employee.

Above all, remember that feedback does not always have to be corrective. Giving positive feedback as a sign of recognition and appreciation is just as important. This helps create motivated employees who take feedback to heart and continue working on their own development.

The difference between feedback and criticism

When you give criticism, you step into the role of the accuser. By doing so, others quickly fall into drama roles such as victim or rescuer. Awareness is the first step to preventing this. How do you give feedback? What do you do to achieve better results together?

Giving feedback with empathy: the DESC model

The DESC model is a practical guideline for giving and receiving both constructive and appreciative feedback. This feedback method takes into account objective facts, as well as the associated emotions and underlying intentions. Ultimately, the model focuses on finding solutions and concrete actions.

Giving constructive feedback

Definition (Description)
 

Give an objective and concrete description of the observed behavior. Use “I-statements.” Before moving on, check whether your conversation partner recognizes what you mean.

• I hear, I see, I observe, I notice…
• How is it for you to hear this?
• To what extent are you aware of this behavior?

Empathy & effect (Empathy & Effect)
 

Next, connect with the possible positive intention behind this behavior. Share how this behavior affects the organization, the team, and yourself.

• I can imagine you did this because…
• The way I interpret this action is… it gives me the feeling that…
• The effect of this behavior is…

Suggestions (Solutions)
 

Invite your conversation partner to think of more productive alternatives to the current behavior. Refrain from offering solutions yourself. The best solutions come from within. Truly invite your partner to actively participate in the feedback conversation.

• What could you do to avoid this in the future?
• Which other alternatives can you think of?

Check-in (Commitment)
 

Create an action plan and an agreement of commitment. Who does what by when? These feedback questions give people ownership over their own development. Finally, schedule a follow-up moment to discuss progress.

• In the future, it would be great if you could…
• What I expect is…
• Who does what by when? How will we monitor your progress and development?

Giving appreciative feedback

In the same way, you can also conduct appreciative feedback conversations. It is important to acknowledge what you are grateful for. This encourages an open feedback culture and helps the entire team grow.

Below is an example of appreciative feedback using the DESC model:

• D – Yesterday you asked me whether you could take over part of my work because you sensed that I was drowning in tasks.
• E – I can imagine that you are busy yourself. I felt supported and am very grateful for this action!
• S – I sometimes focus too much on details, which causes me to lose track of time. In the future, I will pay more attention to time management.
• C – Please don’t hesitate to approach me again if you have suggestions for improvement. Your feedback is extremely valuable to me!

Appreciative feedback is important for keeping morale high. It is a sign of recognition and appreciation. When people feel valued, they are often more engaged and motivated to contribute to collective goals. Regularly reflecting on milestones and successes has a significant impact on employee retention.

Finally, as a leader, it is wise to actively ask for feedback yourself. This allows you to continuously improve how you support your team.

From monologue to dialogue: 20+ questions during a feedback conversation

If you take only one thing from this blog, let it be this: a feedback conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. Too often, we still see managers or team leaders focus solely on end results instead of on the growth and development of employees. Employees often hear only what is not going well and frequently feel unheard or unappreciated.

When you engage in dialogue and start from genuine interest in both the well-being of the employee and the project results, you create a positive and productive work environment. This means being involved before, during, and after the project. In this way, you can offer constructive feedback while also celebrating successes together.

Discover 20+ feedback questions to gain deeper insight into your team’s development:

Definition

• How is the project going so far?
• What do you think went well?
• What would you do differently in the future?
• What do you mean by…?
• How did this go from your perspective?

Empathy & effect

• How does it feel to hear this?
• What does this do to you?
• How does this feel for you right now? What are you thinking about?
• What was the intention behind the behavior?
• What reasoning was behind this?
• What effect do you think this had on others?
• What result were you hoping for?

Suggestions

• How could you act differently in the future to achieve the desired result?
• Which other alternatives do you see?
• What else? (Nespresso question: What else?)
• I’m thinking, for example, of… How does that sound?

Check-in

• What are you taking away from this dialogue?
• Where can we agree?
• What will you do to create a better result?
• How do you plan to take ownership of this?
• What support can I offer you?
• How and when will we check in?

In short, feedback is the key to growth and development in organizations. An open feedback culture represents an attitude of continuous improvement and collaboration. But feedback is not only about questions or words—it is also about people and their emotions. How do you deal with emotions during a feedback conversation? What should you pay attention to? Discover this next week in part 2 of this blog series!

Facilitate an open feedback culture as an accelerator for growth. Get in touch and discover the best solution for you.